“Then David gave to
Solomon his son the pattern…And David said to Solomon his son, Be strong and of
a good courage, and do it: fear not, nor be dismayed: for the LORD God, even my
God, will be with thee, he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, until thou
hast finished…” 1 Chronicles 28:11 & 20
David
wanted to build a temple for God; but in His wisdom, God chose to give his son,
Solomon, the task. Instead of begrudging his son the honor, David immediately
set out to make sure he would have everything he needed to complete the task
God had given him. He saw to it that the young man had the tools, the finances,
and the blueprint—the pattern—for his future service to God. And in laying down
a pattern for Solomon, David has left a pattern for the rest of us.
The
tools, money, workmen and other essentials would have been of little use
without a pattern. And the same is true with the children God has given us. We
can give them everything they need, humanly speaking, to live a meaningful life
for God; but if they have not had the benefit of a workable pattern around
which to structure their own, individual lives, their edifice will always be
shaky. Give them a good education, by all means; but make sure their
instruction Book for life is the infallible Word of the Living God. Teach them
how to make and use money wisely, for sure; but make sure they also know money
is a good servant but a poor master (Matt. 6:24).
But
most important of all, give them a good pattern. And the pattern is not what
you’ve taught them, but what they’ve seen. It’s not instruction; it’s
inspection. Generally speaking, the Bible, the house of God, the pastor, and
the people of God will be as important to them as they are to you; and God
Himself will be as real to them as He is to you. There are exceptions to this,
obviously. Some children develop a stronger, more devoted Christian life than
their parents; and some young people choose to disregard their “goodly
heritage” (Psl. 16:6). And that’s my final point.
The
best pattern in the world won’t do you an ounce of good if you don’t follow it.
A child can be given everything needed to build a godly, purposeful, satisfying
life, but he or she must be the one to build it. David could do everything for
Solomon but build the temple. He could encourage him (v. 20), but only Solomon
could do the building. And as parents, after we have provided for our children
as best we can, given them the spiritual tools they will need, and laid down a
godly (not perfect) pattern before them, then…it’s up to them to build it. To
try to step in later and repair all their mistakes and missteps is to belittle
all that came before and usually ends in frustration or alienation.
Solomon
did not begin to build until David, his father, died; and perhaps, spiritually speaking, that’s what some
of us parents need to do. These are sobering words, I know; but I felt
constrained to write them…for you and me