The (Real) Ties That Bind

“And Rebekah said to Isaac, I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth: if Jacob take a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these which are of the daughters of the land, what good shall my life do me?”   (Gen.27:46)

         I wonder how this made Isaac feel. Of course, neither of them wanted their sons to marry heathen women, but for a wife to admit that the only thing she is living for is the well being of her children would certainly not make a husband feel very special, it would seem to me.

I wrote in another article about the invisible cord that binds a mother’s heart to her children all their lives; but in it I cautioned that the cord needed to be non-binding (“silken, with lots of slack for individual growth,” I believe is how I described it). The natural bond between a mother and child should never be as binding as the supernatural one that binds her to the husband God gave her. I think I’ll say that again: The natural bond between a mother and child should never be as binding as the supernatural one that binds her to the husband God gave her. I sense you questioning the word “supernatural.” Let me try to defend its use.

         Why do you think we are not required to recite vows of fidelity to the children to whom we give birth, like we are to the spouses we take? (Though, maybe we should.) It’s because unless a parent—especially a mother—is spiritually and emotionally deformed, he or she will love his or her child. That child is an extension of one’s own body—bone of bone and flesh of flesh. This is a natural phenomenon. But for a man and woman, who have no physical bond, to become bone of bone and flesh of flesh in the sight of God has to be supernatural.

A stranger once asked me if I was related to Richard Sandlin, and I jokingly replied, “Only by marriage!” But the truth is, I’m actually more related to him than anyone else on earth. That is why I follow him wherever he goes and stand with him against anything or anyone that would threaten our union. My children have my undying love, but my husband has that and my undying allegiance, as well. 

         There is one more tie, however, that is the most binding of all, by virtue of the fact that it is eternal. The threads that bind my heart and mind to the family I cherish will be dissolved when I leave this earth, but the scarlet cord that binds me to Jesus Christ can never be severed. It is tied with the promise of His Word and knotted with the integrity of His character. It supersedes and gives credibility (and durability) to all other relationships.

         I can’t speak for every woman, but I’m one who does not mind being tied down. The ties that bind me are cords of love and cables of joy. And I bless them.