"And I find more bitter than death the woman,
whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands..." (Ecclesiastes
7:26a)
Each time I come to this particular verse, my mind
goes back to Proverbs thirty-one. Not as a comparison, of course, but as a
stark contrast. In this verse in Ecclesiastes, Solomon charges some women with
having hearts that are "snares and
nets," and hands that are like clutching "bands” to a man. The woman he describes in Proverbs 31:11-12,
on the other hand, possesses a heart that a husband can “safely trust in,” for he knows "she
will do him good and not evil all the days of her [not just his] life."
In I Samuel 18:21, we are told that Saul gave his daughter, Michal, to David
for the express purpose of being a "snare"
to him. And she was, too.
As women, we
sometimes think being the “weaker vessel”
puts us at a uniquely unfair disadvantage. But in reality, we wield a
tremendous amount of influence in the so-called, “battle between the sexes.”
And any woman who is honest will agree with this. I would contend that as a
woman, it is no small achievement to win the respect and confidence of a good
and godly man. In Judges sixteen, where the story of Samson and Delilah is
found, I have written in the margin, “Every woman seeks to know the heart of
a man...his strengths and weaknesses. The difference in women is found in what
she does with that knowledge.”
I am conscious
of the influence I have with my own husband. I consider it a sacred trust. To
the extent that one person can know another, I think I know his heart; and to
the extent that I know my own, his heart is safe with me.
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