“…and none spake a
word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.” (Job 2:13)
I’m of the opinion that grief and
sorrow are not always lessened by talk. I know this goes against established
psychology and grief counseling, and it’s not to say that grief shouldn’t be
shared, but only that it doesn’t always have to be verbalized to be borne. I
write this not for those enduring grief and heartache, but for those who ache
for them. If the individual seeks a sympathetic ear, then by all means, we
should give it; but to feel that we must encourage someone to speak or even cry
in hopes of making him or her “feel better” or “get over it” sooner, is
presumptive, to my way of thinking.
Some grief is too great to be expressed.
In the case of Job’s friends, when they did finally speak, they turned out to
be “miserable comforters. We sometimes search for words of comfort when there
are none. Not because there is no comfort, but because it will not come through
words, in this case. Anguish and heartache that cannot be expressed, like
“groanings that cannot be uttered,” call for a specialist—the blessed Holy
Spirit (Rom. 8:26). It is not for nothing that He is called “the Comforter.”
Not the words that
you say, but the love that you show—
From a heart filled
with God, and the comfort He bestows
Thank you for this reminder! I read about a pastor's wife who visited a grieving family who sat in quietness, so she found herself talking and talking. In the car, after they left the home, she told her husband that she knew that she talked too much, but that the people were so uncomfortable. He told her that they were not uncomfortable with the quiet, she was! Since then I have thought about that when I am in conversation with a person who does not mind gaps in the flow of words and have just been quiet until he/she resumed the conversation. It is really a freeing experience to be quiet and feel no obligation to try to say something comforting when there seem to be no words with which to comfort.
ReplyDeletePj ~ You're so welcome, dear lady! Thanks for taking the time to share your story with me. Being quiet is not my strong suit, so these reminders are for me, too. I hear back more through emails than on my blog, and I especially love hearing from someone new. God bless you and your family and make you a blessing! ~ In the Joy of the Lord, Salle
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