“Now we see through a glass darkly…” 1
Corinthians 13:12
Most of you know that this past year a
deadly pancreatic cancer in my body has been slowly entwining itself around
most of the surrounding veins, making its removal all but impossible. You may
also know that this fall, it reached the point where aggressive chemo was
begun, and finally Hospice was called in when the unsuccessful chemo left what
was left of me hanging over the precipice of death. During this time of not
quite, but almost, being able to see across the valley of the shadow of death
into the presence of my Savior, it was as though a hand reached out, pulled me
back, and stood me up on my feet, literally.
I’m not sure if that Hand was divine,
but I do know it was disconcerting. Okay, if the TOD suddenly gets pushed back,
for whatever reason, what’s left? According to Paul, only one: “For whether we live, we live unto the Lord;
and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we
are the Lord’s.” Rom. 14:8. If
you’re not dead, you’re living; and if you’re living, you’re not dead. The last
four words are what make the difference: “We
are the Lord’s, so we should do both “unto the Lord.”
So, this is where I am on this day of
our Lord, February 9, 2017. As far as I know, this tumor is still there
clutching those same veins; and I still pass a mirror and momentarily ask
myself, “Who is that somewhat bald, shriveled woman I see? She looks positively
dead.” But she isn’t (at least, not today.) She’s merely “seeing through a glass darkly.” But sooner (or later) Bless the
Lord! “…then face to face.” Until I
see Him, I will serve Him, living each day in the light of His Personage…Power.
“Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast
caused me to hope.” Psl. 119:49
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